Currently, I am drawing mostly horses, and it may look like my goal is to draw horses, but that is not the focus. On the surface, the pages have a horse subject being drawn, but that is just the byproduct of the processes I am practicing. I could go with any other subject and it would not make a difference. From experience, I have found that sticking with one thing for a long period yields the best results; for that reason, I am sticking to the horse to test and refine my thinking.

Every page has an underlying story behind it; how was it approached, aside from what can be seen on the paper as the final product (e.g., the drawing / the final artwork)?

Here I decided to pick the horse subject for now. The horse here is just the subject of choice that I'm using to apply deeper thinking around it. The application I'm using the horse for are the visual principles and design principles, which are the fundamentals I'm trying to use to practice and draw. As I draw the horse over multiple pages continuously, the way it is being drawn can be seen as variations of difference in visual qualities.

The quality variations come in various degrees of processes that were used to create the final drawing. Each page is different; a different approach or similar approach would be used to produce the surface drawings the page obeys.

For this page, I went with a focus on rendering with just the lines, that were created with just the tiny brush stroke point. The brush was mimicking the ballpoint pen which would be used as a stroking mechanism for all the underdrawing and the values and form rendering, using the hatching by building it stroke by stroke continuously.

This page was done through a couple of revisions, or I will use rather the word returnals. I would return to this page multiple times per week, probably 3 or 4 times / days, where I would slowly either refine the part of the drawing and then I would switch to another area of the page where then I would continue to fill the empty spot with new drawings or thoughts.

Something very common that is happening when doing the page returnals is that, some days I just can't reconnect back to the page and I do get page paralysis, which would happen here and instead of drawing, I would do an analysis of the momentum to write it down into the page, so I could later write about it as well.

Page paralysis is a momentum of me knowing I should return back to the page to continue the unfinished, because of discipline purpose and keeping the continuity—the flow. When returning there is a high chance I will have no interest to draw, because my mind is not in the right configuration, prepared for drawing with joy instead of force. The returning is forced by myself, instead of a natural returning that would be initiated naturally, which is always more powerful to enter a drawing session with. I think this is the downside of the discipline, where if one wants to stay relevant and disciplined, one must brainhack to push through if possible or let go.

What I did with this page when I encountered this page paralysis was let go and not draw at all for that day; I would pass and not care, no forcing.

The next returnal would be the same... although I could have tried to force myself to push through the paralysis, I didn’t.

For the next returnal, this time I would force myself to get through it and draw because I have to finish the page. To get through the page paralysis, one has to brainhack the mind.

Brainhacking means to use some form of brainhack method that will switch the mindset for the right configuration, which acts like a spark that initializes the interest back to normal.

The approach of brainhack I would use is to write something in the page, play with thoughts which is as well a bit of a creative approach; when the text that is being drawn along the existing artworks starts to feel even more creative, it can spark the engine back. The other way is to try to draw, do a couple of bad drawings (not in the page, I would erase them, as they have been used for brainhack purpose) that would again spark and initialize the interest back. The other approach I would use is to return back in one hour or two, after trying to spark.

Sometimes this works and I get through and continue working on the page, sometimes it doesn't... in that case I will not force it and let go and try it next time.